Wednesday, May 27, 2009

"TERRORIST" RETURNED TO HOME STATE

(Las Vegas) Henry Pflug, was released from Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp after being confined there for several years, following his arrest at the Las Vegas International Airport. The 64-year-old detainee is being transferred to a medical facility near Sparks, following a brief military court appearance.
Pflug had worked for over twenty years at the LVI airport as a nightshift janitor. “When the terms of his union contract changed, he had to be more proactive about getting his meds.” said Bob Lim, Pflug’s lawyer “Like many functional schizophrenics, my client gets lulled into complacency when his symptoms are temporarily diminished. But when the full blown condition returns, he is unable to navigate through the medical bureaucracy, and self-medicates with liquor or illegal drugs.”
“As Pflug went about his rounds during the wee hours at the near-deserted facility, the relentless security warning tape got to him. You know, that woman’s voice that warns us about accepting packages from strangers prior to boarding a flight? She pushed him over the top.”
Lim’s successful defense purported that the constant warning was a form of entrapment for the troubled janitor. “We may be mildly annoyed by the constant warnings, but a schizophrenic might easily be convinced that the unseen voice is directed at him, repeatedly offering a playful suggestion."
Prior to his arrest, Pflug spent his off-days at the airport on aimless walks. Eventually he planted himself in the entrance way to the United Airlines ticket counter, pestering random passer-bys to take his bowling bag as their carry-on luggage. His scheme was immediately thwarted by Security, who had been tracking the errant behavior. The bowling bag was completely stuffed with filthy boxer shorts. When questioned by authorities prior to his mandatory transfer to the Guantanamo facilities, the defiant janitor said, “What happens in Vegas doesn’t necessarily stay in Vegas.”

Friday, May 15, 2009